Choosing Your Partner Is The Most Important Decision of Your Life
Our recent guest, Angely, has a no-nonsense approach to dating. She shared that her checklist includes— being financially stable, kind-hearted, adventurous, and caring about fitness. So please tune in to this episode and let us know your list.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this episode, this is it:
To get the relationship you want, you must know what you actually want.
And be able to communicate it clearly. Last year, I struggled with knowing what I wanted or even to say it out loud. So, I went on dates with 30 men.
And for every date, I reflected on what I wanted. But most importantly, I wanted to know what kind of life I wanted with the person I choose to commit to. I also knew that I wanted a happy and healthy relationship.
If you’re still unsure of what you want, which is normal by the way, watch White Lotus. Every couple in the show can show you what you may not want.
In that dreamy landscape and Vespa, Tanya and Greg could not be more disconnected. I can’t imagine being on a holiday trip with a partner, and he leaves to meet his mistress or talk to her in the toilet.
Lucia and Albie are in a cloud of lust, which is pleasurable for both. But there’s no talk of reality or what life could be like after the holiday. Instead, Albie gets scammed.
Cameron and Daphne are Ken and Barbie personified. Yet, they play games with each other along the way, creating a toxic relationship.
Jack and Portia enjoy their flirty moments. But their dates are fueled by adventure, sex, and alcohol. And like Tanya advised Portia, check if someone you are dating has goals. Or the connection will lead to nowhere.
Ethan and Harper’s sexless marriage is a sign of disconnect. It doesn’t help that they spend time with Cameron and Daphne, seeing how the couple handles infidelity. This holiday breeds distrust between the two of them.
There’s nothing like seeing dysfunctional relationships to clarify what you don’t want.
Can you relate to any of these couples’ issues, whether it’s something you saw in the relationships around you or you experienced it yourself? A penny for your thoughts.
A micro habit you can try.
Starting this month, we’ll be sharing micro habits you can try, whether single or taken.
Single
Practice saying out loud or in writing: I’m looking for (insert what you want in a relationship and partner). Next time you go on a date, you won’t stumble about what you want anymore.
Taken
Do something fun this week that you both haven’t tried! Healthy relationships spend 6 to 15 hours of quality time each week.
Smarter love library
11 Esther Perel quotes that set the record straight on love and sex - All these quotes force us to rethink love. It’s not a feeling. It’s a verb and it’s constant work.
What’s next
We interview JPaul Hernandez, a motivational speaker, and podcaster. He focuses on men’s self-development. We ask him the question: Can you change a man? Or should you even do so?