Facing Fears in Life & Love
Episode 21 Highlights & Lessons From Laura Lehmann
Two weeks ago, Ciari and I chatted with Chef JP and Camille, who have been married for two years or so now. They run Sarsa Kitchen with so much energy and creativity, even through challenging times. So, we wanted to dig deeper into why their partnership works and see what we can learn from them on relationships.
On a side note, this interview is also the first time Camille joined JP in a podcast. So, we couldn't resist asking for on an excellent meet-cute story.
How They Met
Chef JP admits it was 'crush at first sight' when he met Camille while shooting a documentary in a local surf spot. Camille had no idea who he was at that time and just broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before. With a lack of interest, she merely gave him a polite hello. JP intended to get more than a hello, so he followed her on Instagram and started liking her photos from way back. He asked her out on a first date when he saw that they were both frequent diners at a local Japanese restaurant. In true chef-style, he told her that he knew the best dishes to order.
An Unlikely Valentine's Day
After two months of dating seriously, they celebrated Valentine's Day together by going to a party. On the way home, JP was in his motorbike. And Camille was in her car. When they both stopped in front of a traffic light, JP knocked on Camille's car door. And after she opened the window, he gave her a long sweet kiss. Right after, Camille freaked out and ended it. She feared that this chef was going to play her. She has been used to nice guys, and she wasn't ready for this kind of man that her mom used to warn her about.
How did they get back together?
Right after, she regretted her decision. At this point, JP didn't do anything wrong. The only challenge standing between the two of them were the fears that Camille had. After a few friends talked to Camille, she decided to make amends with JP with the question, "hey, you want to meet up for a glass of wine?"
It certainly wasn't just one glass of wine! Camille set aside her fears and decided to give it one more go. This time, JP had her full attention.
Overheard from Episode 21
Why do we like the red flags?
JP: As human beings, you know, we want to be saviors. We want to be heroes. We want to be that person that's going to make the other person better.
But sometimes dapat iiwan mo na yan (you have to leave it to) Spider-Man and Superman, you know the superhero stuff to them. Yung sa atin (For us), [focus on] compatibility —who are we compatible with?
What is intimacy?
Camille: People think it's just about the physical aspect of it. But really the most intimate thing is sharing everything. [The stuff] they never want to share with anyone at all.
JP: It's a make or break thing.
What is love?
JP: Forgiveness. Because there will always be differences. And there will always be arguments. It's not glamorous at all. So I guess, for me, forgiveness, because when you have forgiveness, then you go through those barriers.
Camille: It's about both acceptance and pushing the person to be the best possible version that he can be. You can't just accept the person. Okay, you're just that. That's not love, but it has to have a little bit of acceptance and at the same time pushing the person because you know, that person can be so much more, right?
30 Questions with Thriving Women— Laura Lehmann
Be yourself. Don't compromise your morals.
Sport is a great equalizer. No one will magically give you the ability!
You will stay motivated if you love what you're doing and you like waking up for it.
Life gets competitive. It would help if you stood out.
Don't be a pushover.
Never be polite that you forget your power. Never be too powerful to forget to be polite. (Laura quotes Taylor Swift here!)
Be prepared so you don't get stressed, and you also perform better.
When you are focused on yourself, good things will come to you when you least expect them.
Forget timelines and social pressures. Everybody has their timing. Accept that, and it will make you happy!
The biggest things holding people back are the limiting beliefs and stories they tell themselves about the circumstances and the world around them.
Foot Notes
100 Couples Share Their Secrets To A Successful Relationship
Love Is Not A Permanent State of Enthusiasm
& Things To Try
Do one little thing for someone else, whether you give them a massage or prepare a cup of coffee. It's about the small stuff in long-lasting relationships.
Combine the law of gratitude with the law of attraction. Start and end the day with a thought of gratitude.
This Week’s Episode — Episode 23 Surviving Cancer and Heartaches
“The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” - Esther Perel
For a friend that needs advice or loves a good love story: