Inside The Mind of A Good Man
6 Quotes on Relationships from Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey
Matthew McConaughey shares his journey from being a boy to becoming a man. He writes a lot about his love story with Camila, his wife. And I can’t help but think about his perspective on marriage and relationships.
There's one scene in the book set in Australia when the actor was filming Fool's Gold where he asks his then-girlfriend, Camila, "What would I have to do to lose you?"
She replied, "Oh, that's easy." Then, she said, "Change."
We ask this question a lot on our show, “Should you change a person?” or “Can you change a person?” We always end up with the answer— no.
A person has to be self-motivated to evolve into a better person. You can only encourage a person with clear communication and compassion.
Sometimes, we have an idea of our dream partner. But, in reality, we push them, try to motivate them, or drive them crazy with demands, so that he or she fits our ideals.
In Greenlights, Camila is independent, but she is also the actor's biggest supporter.
We can learn from the love story of Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves. There has to be a balance of independence but also being a reliable source of support.
We heard a similar perspective on our recent episode with Mikael and Megan. They talk about having different fighting and motivation styles. Each of them had to give each other the space to grow. Mikael and Megan had several tough conversations, but always with empathy.
“Alright, alright” as Matthew McConaughey is known to say.
Ciari and I know that it’s not cookie cutter for all couples. And in the middle of a heated discussion, you can’t stop to journal, listen to a podcast, or read a relationship-focused book. But since, you opened this email, you commit to having better relationships.
Here are six quotes by Matthew McConaughey that will make you rethink your relationships and approach to love:
Words are momentary. Intent is momentous.
From the dating phase to marriage, avoid being swayed by words. Actions speak volumes. It's what tests our commitment, loyalty, and character to the ones we love or care about.
Look for people that stay true to what they say. And if the words don't match their action, move on. You can't be holding on to false promises.
…And the conversation about life we had together sitting across the kitchen table from each other until 3 in the morning would be more inspiring…And it was.
Conversation, understanding, and mental compatibility are the most underrated aphrodisiacs out there.
Megan and Mikael shared that they looked forward to having coffee with each other until their 70s. Remember that whoever you choose to commit to, you have to see them as a companion in the long game of life.
Closeness is the quiet moments together, the pain shared, the beauty seen, the honesty. It’s authentic. It’s reality. A constant relationship because we can it, we’re sure about it, we know it.
In Greenlights, the author writes a poem comparing lights on and off. And he shares that when you see someone up close, that's real love.
You can only see someone up close after going through mundane, honest and painful moments.
I believe trying to maintain a honeymoon glow in a relationship is a fool’s errand fantasy. Worse yet, it’s unfair to the two lovers trying to maintain it. It’s a 120-watt bulb that burns too hot to last. No one can live up to the pedestal we put them on if we always put them on one.
This one is a good old ice bucket for all of us. The honeymoon glow is not forever. We have to accept that we won't always be as attracted to our partners as in the first few months. And that's ok. It's better when we don't put them on a pedestal.
…when two people who are meant to be together unite, the adventure of livin side by side does not steal the individual’s sense of self, rather it enlightens and informs it. How, when two people come together to marry, they each arrive as one whole being, and in marriage we don’t lose half of ourselves, we become more of ourselves.
A pastor shared this line with the author when contemplating marriage with Camila. As a man, he admitted to the fear of losing himself in marriage. Do you think this thought is common to men? Or, do women feel this fear too?
When a relationship turns sour, we sometimes hear the line, "I lost myself." We have to be careful of that feeling, as there may be elements of co-dependency. A healthy relationship allows you to be the best version of yourself.
Soon, for the first time in my life, I got the courage to look at marriage, not as a final destination, rather as a new expedition, an affirmative and heartfelt choice to become more, together, with the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and the only mother I wanted to be rocking with on my eighty-eight birthday.
Changing your status on Facebook as “in a relationship” or “married” is not the end game. I’ve heard of men and women saying they’re not ready for a commitment, maybe more so men. We need to learn how to enjoy the process of being with someone, rather than the labels we wear.
Also, we drive ourselves mad with societal pressures, whether it’s the ring, the wedding, the house and all these material possessions. Sure, you have to be somewhat capable of supporting yourself. But, no one is ever truly ready for marriage or commitment.
So it is about taking a journey together. And you have to ask yourself, is this someone you'd still be ok to spend time with at 88 years old?
This speech is one of the best out there. He didn’t actually prepare for it as he believed it might give him “bad karma.” Instead, he had three points he wanted to talk about. At the core, these are good questions to ask yourself or even a romantic partner.
What do you need?
What are you thankful for?
Who’s your hero?
If this newsletter made you ponder, reply to this email. We absolutely love hearing from you.
Become A Member of The Anti-Love Tililing Club
Tired of love and dating? We’re here to do the legwork for you. By joining our club, you’ll be more informed and less anxious about your relationships. Promise, this club will be your compass to a better love life.
P.S. Tililing: Tagalog slang for someone who is considered slightly insane or at times off-beat.
👯♂ Behind-the-scene exclusives with your thirsty girls and you’ll meet some like-minded people as well.
💃 Improve your relationship with these practical tips and achieve a healthy partnership.
👯 Learn how to date mindfully and intentionally, while making the process fun.