I've been reading this book, "The Millionaire Fastlane" by MJ DeMarco, and I saved this passage that I needed to share with you all:
"Bad relationships are roadblocks to Fastlane success. They drain energy and dim dreams. It's like rowing a boat upstream. Unwilling passengers add weight, distract, and sometimes are expensive to remove. Yes, divorce is treasonous and expensive, both emotionally and financially. Traveling down the road less traveled is already difficult. Why compound the journey by weighing down the car with someone who doesn't share your destination? Are you in the right relationship with a person who believes in you and your goals? Or is your relationship just like lukewarm water, not bad, not good, just comfortable enough to stand pat? If so, it might be time to evaluate your passenger."
This excerpt reminds me a lot of our week's episode, where we asked JPaul if we should or could change a man. He answered but asked us to think a little bit deeper— why do we want to change someone?
Instead of focusing on how to change someone, we should focus our energies on building healthy relationships. Here are the top three tips we loved from the episode:
Don't compare your partner or someone you're dating to another person. Understand that your words can crush someone's ego.
Don't make a person your dating project. You are your only project. You can encourage each other to grow and be better. But you are only in control of your actions. So, the best you can be is supportive.
Date, date, and date. It doesn't have to be fancy but make the time to go out with each other and not talk about bills or work. Keep the romance alive.
I love the idea of "date, date, date." So I leave you with this gem from Marc Randolph, co-founder of Netflix, on what he calls his definition of success.
Listen to our latest episode if you can relate to his definition of success. We talk about bad boy projects, JPaul's love story, dealing with challenging situations like abuse, collectivism in Filipino families, birth order theory, and so much more.
And remember to tell us what you learned!
A micro habit you can try.
If you are planners, here are habits for the upcoming V-day.
Single
Date yourself like you want to be dated. For example, book a table for one if you want to eat in a fine-dining restaurant. Sanaiyah Gurnamal, a relationship coach, shared this tip with us!
Taken
Celebrate Valentine's Day according to your love languages. If he is a fan of quality time, give him a day out of just you and him.
Smarter love library
'Lighter' by Yung Pueblo - There's a chapter in his book detailing his relationship with his wife and how the journey has not been easy. He shares insights on how two people can develop their emotional maturity. If you’re butting heads, it’s worth a read. I may break this book down in a future newsletter!
What's next
Honey Vaño-Enriquez, an OB-GYN, just ended her long-term relationship before she met her husband. In this upcoming episode, she shares her whirlwind love story. It's for anyone on the brink of giving up!